What I Really Want For Christmas

  • To watch Star Wars and understand the plot, even just a little bit.
  • For cilantro to be prominently featured in every food dish I encounter.
  • To meet my comedy idol Amy Poehler, and to have her laugh at the following joke: What is Mario’s favorite type of pants? Denim denim denim!
  • A box of my favorite pens with lasers that destroy anyone that takes them from me. Oh, you want to borrow a pen, do you? I WOULDN’T IF I WERE YOU.
  • A Siri who always understands my voice dictation.
  • Unbiased media without corporate agenda.*
  • For Donald Trump to take up another hobby besides presidency, like water skiing or deep sea diving. Really, anything besides presidency would be cool. It doesn’t have to be a water sport.
  • To become internet-famous without actually trying. And not for what I wear to Wal-Mart.
  • For everyone to call me Princess Kate for a day so I could humbly say “no, no, please. I’m just like one of you.”
  • Minions to stop appearing everywhere, and on everything. Come on, Minions? Minions, people? Why? Why? Why?
  • Why?

* Post sponsored by LifeSmart vitamin water. Drink fresh!


One thought on “What I Really Want For Christmas

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