- To watch Star Wars and understand the plot, even just a little bit.
- For cilantro to be prominently featured in every food dish I encounter.
- To meet my comedy idol Amy Poehler, and to have her laugh at the following joke: What is Mario’s favorite type of pants? Denim denim denim!
- A box of my favorite pens with lasers that destroy anyone that takes them from me. Oh, you want to borrow a pen, do you? I WOULDN’T IF I WERE YOU.
- A Siri who always understands my voice dictation.
- Unbiased media without corporate agenda.*
- For Donald Trump to take up another hobby besides presidency, like water skiing or deep sea diving. Really, anything besides presidency would be cool. It doesn’t have to be a water sport.
- To become internet-famous without actually trying. And not for what I wear to Wal-Mart.
- For everyone to call me Princess Kate for a day so I could humbly say “no, no, please. I’m just like one of you.”
- Minions to stop appearing everywhere, and on everything. Come on, Minions? Minions, people? Why? Why? Why?
* Post sponsored by LifeSmart vitamin water. Drink fresh!