Second article — Feedback Needed!

Hey guys! I’m writing my second article for the AP. I’m hoping to garner feedback from my friends, loved ones, and various confused internet people who come upon my blog. Any and all feedback is appreciated! Unless it’s not constructive, then be gone with you!

Tips for Spending Your PFD

Permanent Fund Dividend Season is just around the corner. For the uninitiated, Permanent Fund Dividends (or “PFD”) is the yearly oil revenue that is distributed to every human man, woman and child who has been an Alaska resident for at least a full calendar year. Needless to say, it’s awesome. The PFD this year is estimated to be one of the highest payouts in recent years. In order to not let this opportunity pass you by, here are some helpful tips for getting the most out of your PFD:

  • Spend recklessly. This is your time to live! Buy whatever your heart desires! Do you want to buy a fur coat? Yes! Do you want to buy a flat-screen, 3D, LE Google TV? Get two! This is not the time to be frugal or thrifty. Nordstrom Rack recently opened, and is relying on you to purchase several $300 scarves. Don’t let Nordstrom Rack down.
  • Save. If you’re slightly more future-minded and responsible, save your PFD! Be sure to slowly-but-surely siphon the money out of your savings account anyway, leaving you scratching your head and wondering next year what happened to your PFD. It’s the Alaskan way.
  • Travel. Termination dust is upon us, which is a stark and ominous reminder that winter is, in fact, coming. Use your PFD as an opportunity to escape the cold for a little while longer and go visit your dear old grandmother in Wisconsin. She worries about you.
  • Hide your PFD. Are you worried about traveling rogues absconding with your hard-earned free money? That’s completely understandable. Show those rogues that you’re no fool and stash your booty away in your mattress, sock drawer or other such inconspicuous nook. What you’ll lose in inflation, you’ll gain in financial peace of mind.
  • Invest in Magic Beans. Did some wizened old man offer to trade your PFD for some small magic beans? Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. What may seem like a foolhardy investment in some dingy chickpeas may, in fact, lead to wild riches. If nothing else, you’ll at least have several healthy bean plants to your name.
  • Donate to charity. You might be thinking to yourself, “I have enough money. I almost have too much money!” Well, good for you. You don’t need to brag. Take your PFD and donate it to a local charity that would be grateful for your patronage. The Alaska Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, for example, does great work in the field of preventing needless animal overpopulation. Have you noticed that the streets of Anchorage are nearly knee-deep in wild cats? No? Exactly. Thank the ASPCA with your monetary donation.

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