So, I recently made a very bad decision. I jokingly posted this advertisement for a haunted trailer to my local Anchorage craigslist page. The ad is obviously a joke. Here’s what I wrote:
I’m selling a very gently used but very haunted trailer. I bought this trailer down in the lower 48 with the hopes of doing some camping in Alaska. Little did I know that I was also purchasing the undead spirit of some colonial woman, probably.
Here are some of the pros and cons to purchasing this trailer:
– Comfortably holds two average-sized adults and one ethereal spectre.
– The walls are mold-free and sturdy. They do bleed human blood during the witching hour.
– Hosts a standard heating unit, keeping you comfortable during the winter months. Though the heat occasionally shuts off, randomly, as if some immortal being were trying to avenge their death by causing your body to develop hypothermia as you slumber. Infrequently!
– Can accommodate a hot plate, but I don’t recommend alphabet soup or Alphabits cereal because your meal will wax poetic about your imminent demise or something, I never read it.
– Every dog I’ve ever brought into it has drowned. Possibly not related.
– You’ll receive visits from two twin little girls who say they want to “play with you forever”.
The price has been reduced because I can no longer sleep through the blood-curdling screams that seem to emanate from the bowels of hell. Text me if you’re interested in checking it out!
I’m baffled, BAFFLED!, that people are taking it seriously. So. Many. People. I’ve received hundreds of phone calls, texts, emails, carrier pigeons… It’s been ridiculous. The advert was also shared by my local country radio station (because obviously) and featured on some comedy website that I’ve never heard of. So that’s exciting. But I’ve learned my lesson. I’m never using craigslist to try and be funny ever again.