I’m starting a blog. I’m not going to go into all the deep and existential reasons why l’m starting this blog, because frankly I don’t know. But I have compiled a list of some of the things I’m hoping to get out of this whole disgusting process:
- A stalker or two.
- A chance to share my version of the story.
- The ability to look back on the zany adventures I went on before I became a boring and functioning adult.
- A new writing career that allows me the financial freedom to focus more time and energy on my real passion: collecting Hallmark keepsake angels. You know, the ones without the faces.
- A linear record of my terrible decisions to take to my psychiatrist.
- A distraction from my incessant Amazon Prime purchases. Why did I buy a label maker?! I don’t need it.
- Ego-destroying attention that culminates in an inflated sense of self-worth.
But in all seriousness, my hope is that a public blog will force me to get out of my comfort zone more. To try new things and go on new adventures. Who knows? This whole experience might make me a better person.
As if I could get any better.