Craigslist Ads for Bad Cars

Myself and a friend of mine sat down to write terrible Craigslist ads for our horrible cars. Below are the highlights.
– One of the tires deflates veeeeerrrrryyyy slowly and requires to be filled every week and a half or so. Or every other day if it’s cold outside. Every tire is bald. Do not drive on snow. You’ll hit everything.
– Ignore the stains on the passenger side that look like blood. It’s blood.
– High pitched squealy noise is free of charge.
– The brakes went out two weeks ago. Knowledge of how to use emergency brake is a bonus.
– There is a hole in the passenger seat that goes straight through the car. The entire thing. It’s safe for adults, just drafty. Do not put children in that seat. They will fall through. I repeat, they will fall through.
– The heater doesn’t work, unless you prefer your heaters to blow cold exhaust right into your face. In which case it works perfect.
– The gas tank leaks. And by leaks, I mean there is a ton of duct tape keeping the gas in the car. When the duct tape wears out every other day, your gas will instantaneously fall out of your car and you will be stranded. Advised to keep duct tape in car.
– Car gets 5 mpg, oil changed last February, 345,000 miles. Also the passenger door fell off, but it’s all taped up. Don’t drive up any hills. Find a different route.

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